The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2 (ESV)
Do you know what happens when you shoot a rock? The bullet ricochets and bounces off.
Same goes for a person with a "rock complex," right?
That's what I thought anyways!
When the bullets start flying, they don't ricochet like I have always told myself, they pierce and bounce around inside my rock-like shell, tearing up my innards.
When you hit a rock enough times it will eventually crack and crumble.
The sad thing is, I've only been pretending to myself!
It's time to stop.
Stop pretending it doesn't hurt. Stop holding back the tears. Stop acting like you(I) are(am) fine! Stop it!
It's ok to not be ok!
Did you hear that? It's OK to not be ok!!!
Suffering in silence is lonely! Trust me, I've been doing it a long time.
Understanding that I am not a terrible/weak/unchristian person for having depression and anxiety, has taken me a long time! I am still grappling with them.
I don't want my children to mimic my own emotional hardness. I want them to be ok with sad emotions.
I tell them all the time that it is ok to cry, or to be sad about something. But kids learn the most by example and I have not shown them these traits. Because mommy is a rock and rocks don't cry.
I'm tired of being a rock. I can't hold my walls together anymore and I'm tired of pretending to myself and everyone else.
I'm full of broken pieces and a weary spirit! I want to be renewed and find a strength I know I cannot supply for myself.
But I need to remember that grieving isn't instantaneous and it's ok to not be ok!
I'll be spending a lot of time clinging to the REAL rock!
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.
Jeremiah 31:25 (ESV)
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!
Psalm 143:10 (ESV)
Same goes for a person with a "rock complex," right?
That's what I thought anyways!
When the bullets start flying, they don't ricochet like I have always told myself, they pierce and bounce around inside my rock-like shell, tearing up my innards.
When you hit a rock enough times it will eventually crack and crumble.
The sad thing is, I've only been pretending to myself!
It's time to stop.
Stop pretending it doesn't hurt. Stop holding back the tears. Stop acting like you(I) are(am) fine! Stop it!
It's ok to not be ok!
Did you hear that? It's OK to not be ok!!!
Suffering in silence is lonely! Trust me, I've been doing it a long time.
Understanding that I am not a terrible/weak/unchristian person for having depression and anxiety, has taken me a long time! I am still grappling with them.
I don't want my children to mimic my own emotional hardness. I want them to be ok with sad emotions.
I tell them all the time that it is ok to cry, or to be sad about something. But kids learn the most by example and I have not shown them these traits. Because mommy is a rock and rocks don't cry.
I'm tired of being a rock. I can't hold my walls together anymore and I'm tired of pretending to myself and everyone else.
I'm full of broken pieces and a weary spirit! I want to be renewed and find a strength I know I cannot supply for myself.
But I need to remember that grieving isn't instantaneous and it's ok to not be ok!
I'll be spending a lot of time clinging to the REAL rock!
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.
Jeremiah 31:25 (ESV)
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!
Psalm 143:10 (ESV)